5 Reasons You Can’t Stay Sober
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1. You Value Alcohol and Think It Helps You
When we first quit drinking we’re highly motivated, but as time goes on, this motivation fades and the reasons why you drink begin to appear. As these reasons start to build up you’re reminded why drinking helps and you begin to value it more and more. If you have a trigger, then this shoots up how much you value alcohol because you know you can use alcohol to instantly control how you feel.
2. You Don’t Have Any Coping Skills That Work
Stress is balanced out with healthy coping skills. These tools allow you to take things off your plate so it doesn’t build up and overwhelm you. If you don’t have any coping skills, then stress is just going to continue to build and build and build. Uncomfortable emotions don’t last forever, but if you drink to cope with anxiety or anger, then you’ll find your anxiety and anger comes back stronger the next day.
3. Society Normalizes Drinking, so You Feel Pressure to be “Normal”
Drinking is normal in our society. People always tell me that where they live has a big drinking culture, more than most places, or similarly that their job has an especially big drinking culture. I have heard this from people regardless of where they live or what they do for work. We just have a big drinking culture as humans. It’s basically everywhere, but there are plenty of people out there who have 1 drink occasionally or who never drink at all.
4. You’re Trying to Do it Alone.
You might be thinking, well I’m a member of a sober Facebook group and I go on Instagram. Lots of people join groups, disappear, come back to post about their day 1, and repeat the process. This isn’t the kind of support I’m talking about. When you really allow yourself to become part of some kind of sober community whether that’s in AA, Smart recovery, Dharma Recovery, Sober Mom Squad, The Luckiest Club, my Living a Sober Powered Life community, or sober facebook groups, you get to know the other members and you care about each other.
Some people can do it alone, but if you’re going back and forth without success, then consider joining a sober community either in person, online or both. You can get more information about my community in the show notes.
5. You Don’t Want to Stop Drinking
If you’re struggling to fully quit then you may need to take an honest look in the mirror and ask yourself, “do I actually want to stop drinking?” Sometimes we say we want to be sober and beat ourselves up for drinking when in reality we just want to find a way to drink less. If you don’t actually want to stop drinking, then you’re probably not going to be able to stay sober. Here’s a wise quote that I love, “if you’re trying to control your drinking, then it’s already controlling you.”
