Kevin Bellack on Parenting Before and After Quitting Drinking (E44)
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Gill talks to Kevin who is an alcohol-free accountant, husband, and father. You may know him from his personal Instagram account, @TheSoberGinger, or because he leads 1000 hours dry. Kevin quit drinking when his daughter was 11 years old, so she remembers what it was like before. In this episode they discuss his journey to quitting drinking, what his relationship with his daughter was like before he stopped drinking, what parenting was like for him before vs after he stopped drinking, how he told his family that he’s not drinking anymore and how they responded, what his relationship with his daughter is like today, how they discuss not drinking, and his advice for parents whose children remember what their drinking was like. Kevin shares some stories from his drinking days and explains how he deals with shameful memories.
You can find Kevin on Instagram @thesoberginger and @1000hoursdry where he hosts a weekly live on Saturdays. He also recommends following @1000hoursdryparents for extra support and information.
Key Takeaways
He was easily annoyed and angered while he was drinking, and would sometimes miss some of his daughter’s events because of hangovers. Now, he is a much more present parent. Sober parenting isn’t easy, in fact, he said it’s harder in a way because if he messed up or got mad it was 100% his responsibility, he couldn’t make excuses anymore.
When he stopped drinking, he sent his daughter to a couple sessions with a therapist. He made it clear that he would never ask what she talked about and created a safe, trusting environment while normalizing therapy and getting help at the same time. He knew that his daughter may have things to talk about, and that not wanting to talk to her parents about those things didn’t mean she didn’t trust them or thought they were bad parents.
If your child has memories of you drinking, or if you currently are drinking, he recommends putting on your own oxygen mask first, meaning, take care of yourself first. When we take care of our mental health and make sure we’re okay, we are more equipped to help the people we care about.
Cite this episode
Tietz, G. Bellack, K. Episode 44: Kevin Bellack on Parenting Before and After Quitting Drinking. Sober Powered. 2021.
